Tears
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Be Still, Advent Day 3: Rest In Joy
Note: You can catch up on the Daily Advent Readings here. If you skip a day, no worries—I’ve made it easy to have everything there so you can catch up. Genesis 12:1-4 God called Abram to leave everything familiar and step into the unknown with the promise of blessing. Abram’s obedience was an act of trust and surrender. Hebrews 12:1 The Christian life is a race, and we are surrounded by a “great cloud of witnesses” cheering us on. We are called to lay aside every weight and run with perseverance. My Wild Imagination I have quite an imagination. Although I’m not one of those people who easily remember their…
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Transcendence Leaves Us With Just Enough
If you had told me 40 some years ago, when I was sitting in my cousin’s bedroom listening to the 45 of American Pie, that one night, I would drive home from a track meet with my son and his friends, who would turn on their music, and it would be American Pie — I doubt I would have believed you. But, so it was. The entire night pummeled me with a thick coat of nostalgia with every turn of my head. First, it was the crooked country roads that ribboned the car all the way to the school house, nestled in the hills, surrounded by trees. Much like the…
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Conquering Some Demons
Another snow day, the kids wanted to go skiing, they needed a driver. Why not me? And as I pondered what it would be like to work in the lodge, writing on my laptop, I realized I had no deadlines. In record time, after I announced my decision to ski, and not pound out another article on my computer, the boys had gathered my helmet, goggles and ski mask. I found my wool ski socks, jacket and pants, right where I left them after my accident, almost three years ago. At this point, I mentally congratulated myself for having my house far more organized and pulled together than I realized.…
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Her Mother Was In Town
And, I don’t think I had seen her mother in over 15 years. So, even though I knew they were both busy, we found a time for me to sneak over for 15 minutes to see her. Yes, she had aged in the years I had not seen her… but she was still the same. And I thanked her again, for bringing such a talented, artful, creative person into the world. She hugged me as soon as I walked into the kitchen. And after we pulled apart, and started to talk, my friend gave me a hug… much deeper and longer than the one between her mom and me. And…
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When the Day Was Long
I saw all of those pictures on Facebook. Back-to school pics, kids holding signs marking the year and grade. I gave up trying — I didn’t even give the idea of getting that first day of school pic a second thought, because there would be so much resistance from the boys. Besides, don’t I have enough pictures of them catching frogs, tubing, and being boys? Who needs a boring back-to-school pic? And, the day was so full. It was back to school… And there were groceries to buy for the one going back to college, a car to pack, lunches to pack, a knee to heal. After shelling out $400…
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I Wanted to See His Name… Not Just Touch It
“If you find it, try to get a photograph of his name… Everyone always brings me back a rubbing…. But I want to see his name, high up on that wall that everyone says is so hard to reach.” I want to see his name, so it can help me try to capture the essence of being lifted by those hands, when he took me soaring up to the ceiling of that majestic house with the walnut railings, with the green marble-lined fireplace. He was so tall, and I can still remember how everyone used to marvel at how tall he was. And he lifted me so high, and wasn’t…
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Perhaps Walking Is Overrated?
I started physical therapy last Monday to rebuild strength in my leg. The leg has been locked in a brace for three weeks for the purpose of building scar tissue around the MCL. The task in front of me now, that the scar tissue has formed, is to bring life back to the leg and get it strong and ready for surgery. (And then, the process of being locked starts all over again. Every thing I’m working through now, will have to be repeated at the end.) I did not realize how much of a “crutch” my 24-hour brace was to me until the therapist removed the brace. While all…
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Are You Claustrophobic?
Well, I finally did get that cup of tea… but I had many miles to go, and a high price to pay before I got it. When the pain subsided, a guy from the mountain rescue team asked me to stand. He took one side, and my son took the other, and they pulled me up. Surprisingly, I was able to stand. “I heard him say, maybe it’s just a minor sprain and you can get down the mountain by yourself.” Except that I was so, so, very sick and weak, and I collapsed right back down. I was so beyond sick. Lying in the snow, I kept scraping the…
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Are You Thirsty?
We are so good at not asking for help, at not showing our weakness; as if doing so would be the ultimate betrayal of our own private selves. We carry on like the heroes that we are not, so effortlessly, that we almost believe, that we are as strong as we pretend to be. When we hide our needs from those who love us, we deny ourselves of community, and we rob those who love us the chance to love us. As in the words of John Piper, responding to Brittany Maynard’s choice to end her own life, But it also denies them the privilege of serving. There are moments…
