Top Quotes from the Birthday Boy

He’s 9 today. And to say that he is one of the 4 of my life’s greatest joys would be an understatement. This son is known for his quick-thinking, strategy, and off-the-cuff remarks that make you look twice to check to see if he’s really 4, 5, 6 or 9. He was the one, at age 5, who informed me that “I am older than Jesus. Jesus died at 33.”

At 4, he had already figured out how to get rid of food he didn’t like. However, his 6-year-old brother stood up for him, and said, “No, he’s not hiding food Mom, he’s just flushing the toilet for no reason.” This was the same year, he said, “I can’t wait till I’m old enough to drive, so that I can have Lenny Cracker Rabbits (Lenny Kravitz) playing, with 5 girls in the car. Notice, how he had already calculated the number of spare seats left open to guests. Once again, the 6-year-old befuddled, said, “Girls?! Why in the world would you want to have girls in the car?” The birthday boys denies this statement to this day, as he can find no use for girls in his life today. Here are some of the highlights of things he has shared with us over the years:

• If he were in 5th grade, and he had to do the Egg drop? Heck with all that building and planning. His plan is to just chuck it so he could watch the egg splatter from the top of the Middle School Stadium. Why throw that chance away?
• If he did have an egg contraption that did work, he’d sell it at MiniMall.
• “I think the best job to get is one like my Dad’s. He sits with his feet on his desk, and drinks juice. His job is a boss.” Age 5
• “I’m going to listen to Dad’s I-Pod in the car all the way to Florida.” 16 hour drive. Really. What are you going to do when the battery needs charged? “I’m making sure Dad charges it for a month — so it should last a long time.” Age 8
• “Why are your legs so dirty? Didn’t you just take a shower?” “Well, it wasn’t a bath.”Age 8
• “When we’re old enough to drive to High School, we’ll be late everyday, because we’ll stop at Giant Eagle in the morning and buy all the candy we want — all kinds too.” Age 7
• “John Madden sure does know a lot about football.” “Yeah, that’s because he’s got a video game.” Age 8
• “When I grow up I’m going to live in a woods far away with my brother and stay away from those pesky girls.” Age 6
• At 3, when he was upset with a friend, whom he felt was taking all of his toys, he said, “He’s stealing all of my toys until we’re just a potato.” He meant a “couch potato.” We would have no more toys, and there would be nothing left for us to do but sit around and veg out.
• When his 2nd brother was born, he called him “My Lord.” This is because, at the time, his favorite song was the gospel song, The Gospel Truth. And the lyrics said, “Didn’t My Lord Deliver Daniel.” And he thought that meant Daniel is “My Lord.” Age 3
• He called his 3rd brother his “bunny baby.” Age 5
• When his Grandma missed his birthday, due to being close to a coma for several weeks, and was showing signs of promise of coming back to life. “Well, make sure you tell her she’s behind on birthday presents.”
• I have a difficult time teaching him about Jesus. This is because he’s so logical. He knows I told him Jesus died — so what help could he be. However, I told him Grandma helps him, just like Jesus. He dreams about her, and he takes this as evidence that she’s there — and maybe Jesus is too.
• When I asked him what he would like for his special birthday dinner, he said, “You know. There are a lot of GOOD restaurants that have some pretty good birthday specials.”