The Hotel Pool

I took one look at the hotel brochure, and saw this picture of the pool and said ahhhhh. My husband had a conference to go to in Tampa — it’s not too far from Disney. So, after seeing this picture, we decided to take the boys and enjoy ourselves.And, did I mention the hotel had a pool? What a perfect place to take my 4 boys while my husband is busy listening to Newt talk. I’ve got plenty of sunscreen, the hotel provides luxurious towels — we’re set.

After the 45-minutes of applying lotion, putting feet into sandals, and making sure everyone was suited up, and another bathroom stop, I was ready for a little R&R at the pool. You see, the pool had a zero-entry, meaning, it was perfect for my 3 and 5-year old boys. And the 11 and 8 were set — they had balls and footballs, and we’re already working out a game strategy. I’ll just sit, relax and watch. And geesh! Have I earned it.

First, my 3-year-old stole a Noodle from an older brat kid who doesn’t want to share. His mother said it was fine — as her son already had 6 or 8 wrapped around him. And, there is really no reasoning with my 3-year-old. He explains that this is now his horse, and he’s going to ride it forever now. He is sitting on the noodle, like a horse, and has made a pretty good life-preserver for himself — but if he tilts to one side, down goes the horse. (Sorry, I was a little busy, and there is no picture.) Fearless, he yippeeaiyas himself as fast as he can to the deep end, insisting that the horsey likes the “dark blue water.” I can’t take my eyes off this water cowboy for a minute. Still, I’m getting the beady-eyed look from the older brat kid.


No picture, obviously, available during his cameo as a water cowboy — but this proves that his cowboy fetish runs deep.

Meanwhile, back at the steps, my 5-year-old, who is very timid in the water, is yelling for me to come back so that he can jump into my arms. So, I guide the water cowboy back closer to the steps (he is upset) and the 5-year old says, I’m still too far, come closer. He jumps, when I’m not looking, the cowboy has ridden away off into the deep blue yonder. I need to rein the horse back in to safer pastures, so while I’m not looking, the 5 jumps into my arms — but my arms weren’t there yet. (Busy with the horse.) So, he jumped, onto the top of my head, jamming my head into my neck.

I notice, at this point, that the loungers along the sidelines are beginning to watch. They’re holding fruity drinks with straws, and wearing sunglasses. They think I don’t know they’re staring at me. But I can tell.


Once I’ve recovered from that jump (mascara is now running down my face), the 5-year-old screams that he wants to do it again. The 3-year old is still giddyuping that horse, back out to the blue. This cycle goes on for what seems like eternity. I’m sure you’ve been there too.

Meanwhile, the 8-year-old cannot find his goggles. This is a panic thing — because he will whine about this one single pair of goggles for the rest of the summer. I realize, that my 11-year old has them. What is he doing? My helper? My oldest, my most mature one? He is bobbing up and down in the pool. He stays up long enough to see him, but goes under before you can finish one sentence and speak to him. I can’t reach him and grab him to say, “Will you stop pestering your brother?” because I’m corralled up with the horse and the timid jumper. So irritated. And that, is precisely the 11-year-old’s goal. And those lushes are still watching me from the sidelines.

Soon, the water cowboy has jumped off his horse, and is standing up along the edge of the pool. His bathing suit is dripping. It catches his attention — it starts dripping really fast, and he stares. Amazed — he realizes, he is peeing. Everyone is watching. I might add, there is an arc — it’s getting lots of attention.

So, I decide to leave the pool, and take the boys off on a nature hike. Ah, yes, that is it’s own story….

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22 comments to “The Hotel Pool”
  1. These are the days that make parenting so much fun! I love to read your stories! Thank you for visiting my blog and leaving comments! I feel so special!

  2. Oh, Susie–I was laughing out loud! We did the “go to a conference with Dad and have a great time” thing when my kids were 8 and 5. After breakfast in the hotel, I was trying to pay and see that my youngest is just about to fall in the fountain just outside the restaurant door. After I fish her out, I realize the older one is no where in sight. Frantic search reveals that she decided to go out and have a look at the pool. The first thing she says to Dad when he comes back for the day is, “Mom let me get lost.” That’s not exactly how I was trying to tell it…

  3. THIS looks like it would not have been such a bad business trip! I’m glad you had a fun and restful time, even with the shenanigans of the kids. But, I’m glad you are back, too so I can read more posts. I added you to my RSS feeds (after 4 mos, I finally realized how to do that…duh).

  4. Oh man. See, you can not enjoy a real vacation with kids. Maybe next time you should put them in a kennel while you are away. I hear it is only $10 a day.

  5. wow! your energy!!!! i am amazed!
    btw, i got to read that part about skin cancer – how long ago has it been? have you had recent scans? i’m sorry for asking, i just never knew – didn’t read post as far back as that.
    praying for you 🙂 ((hugs))
    how was disney by the way??? 🙂

  6. That is the sort of thing that really makes we wish we had more than one. Three year-olds have no sense of property, have they? Apart from their own. Just like big corporations, really. And the punchline is perfect! I’m still struggling with public urination.

  7. This is so funny. I hope your head and neck are okay! My husband has a business trip to Orlando coming up and the first thing I did was log onto the hotel’s site, look at the pool, and say, I’m coming with you!

    Great minds think alike!

  8. OH man. I have been there, sister! Mine are only 5,3 and 1 so I suspect there is more of the same in my future. Don’t you just want to reach out (with your 5th arm) and smack the on-lookers who are offering nothing but judgement?! Oh, that’s just me? Sorry…

    I hope your neck is okay.

  9. Thanks, all of you for “getting it.” It was rough — and the on-lookers did not help. And yippee!! Summer is just around the corner!!

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  16. Oh, my GOD! Peeing! Hahahahahah! Once Ben absentmindedly took off his swimsuit at a public beach and just stood there, naked and totally unconcerned about being naked. He was four or five.

  17. Much laughter coming from this way! Are you sure your 3 yr old and my 4 yr old aren’t one and the same? Mine likes to do flips off the side of the pool and sink to the bottom! Especially when no one is looking!!!!

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