Max is gone. Every one of our four boys had the honor of climbing on Max’s back. You think you’ll remember all this stuff, and you probably will. But right now it’s current, and life flows, and these events will drop away to give way to new current events. But watching your life in video form makes you an observer of your own experience. You become the witness of your life, and you keep it current. In this video, we realized that Max was a time marker. He went through life so quickly, and we are aging much slower than him, and we hardly notice what’s happening.
Max was 13 , carried tumors, and could no longer run. It was painful to watch him try to walk. My husband tried to avoid it as long as he could, as we were busy packing 4 kids for an 8 our plane trip to Idaho — my husband nervous about competing in his first Ironman (hence the trip). And due to our nature to put this off as long as we could, this was the day it was going to happen. Things were crazy, hectic, and nobody had time to grieve Max.
Our 4-year old, knowing that Max would soon be leaving us — started asking me questions. Did Max have any birthdays? Did you know that, one time, I saw Max RUN!! He was pleading Max’s case. Maybe Max isn’t OLD.
In his eyes, he had only known four years out of the 13 years of Max’s life. He didn’t know what Max was like as a puppy, or what he looked like when he ran. And how much different Max is today.
I answered my 4-year-old’s questions with a DVD of Max’s life. And, it gave us a chance to grieve. Fast forwarded 13 years into minutes. As you watch you realize how fast time is moving every minute, while gently showing my 4-year old how Max used to be, and it’s time for him to move on.