Finding a Way to Make My Eyes Twinkle

I think it would be best for my children, and for me as well, if there were two of me. The first me will be the static, unchanging Mom who cooks their meals, sees that the chores are done, and cheerfully helps with homework. The second Mom will be the counterpoint, and the two Moms will become forces that balance each other — static. This new Mom will be the one who isn’t afraid to whittle away the afternoon letting the breakfast and lunch dishes sit, unwashed on the counter, while she curls up with a cup of tea and watches The Bishop’s Wife. The other Mom, the static one, will be the one who takes care off all the planning to ensure the family has a nice dinner later.

The second Mom, the one who doesn’t have to stop and do a calculation to determine if it’s mathematically possible to skip the laundry just for today, without precious family members having to go naked. The one who says, “Sure, we can spend all day at the park – there’s no place I have to be and nothing I have to do. ” Her hands are always free, dry and clean, ready to tie the costume and buckle the buckle.

The new Mom will eat pancakes with them in the morning, and will burst with excitement to tell them about her crazy whimsical dream. And, she takes the time to tell them all the fuzzy details she can remember. It’s the other, static Mom, who gets sidetracked and forgets the dream, as she notices that the syrup bottle is sticky, and grabs a towel to wash it before she puts it back on the table. And, especially important, the new Mom’s carefree bliss is invincible in the face of temper tantrums, whining and sibbling squables.

The new Mom will be well rested — OK maybe that’s pushing it. But, this new Mom will be able to finish her thoughts – the brain no longer missing synapses from pregnancy, followed by nursing, followed by toddlers who fill the sound waves with chatter and questions, such as “Why is the sky blue.” The one who knows exactly what’s she’s supposed to buy when she’s at the grocery store.

The new Mom is so carefree that she can load everyone up in the car for a “road trip.” No, she doesn’t own a mini-van – she has something way cooler, and everyone fits in the cool car. She brings along nothing but the spare change in the console, figuring we can all grab some cheese, tomatoes and berries and eat them right from the farmer’s stand.

This second Mom is what my kids need. I’m sure of it. It’s not that they need to see the Bishop’s Wife, or analyze the dream, or learn anything, or go for the drive … they simply need to see the smile on my face and the twinkle in my eye. Those things I would have, if I were just free enough to let it happen.

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9 comments to “Finding a Way to Make My Eyes Twinkle”
  1. OMG!! This is just what my wife talked about the other day. She said she needed a clone to get everything done. My wife is great, great with the kids and a really good person (plus I subjectively think she looks nice as well). But she’s not a “housewife”, if I may say that without offending half the world. She hates to clean, iron, soemtimes cook, wash, and decorate.

    Her friends are the opposite. They have no life but life to srbu the bathroom daily, iron two hours a day, and make sure their kids wear spotless clothing 24/7.

    Another clone of my wife would kill me but we sure could use a cleaning and organizing clone in our household. The cleaning girl we have is good but it would be slightly embarrassing to have her come every day….


  2. Oh, I so identify with that!

    I’m not a stellar housekeeper by any means, but even the basics seem to cut into the FUN around here…for me and the kids!

  3. It’s hard to balance the two, and sometimes it swings more to one side than the other. But, yes, I think striving to be the latter is best, especialy when they are younger. They will remember those times when mommy let the house go a little, so she could spend more time enjoying and sharing their childhood with them. Actually, they don’t even notice the house clutter……

  4. Oh that is so true and sometimes i wish that that can actually happen in realtiy! which reminds me that i have such a l-o-n-g way tp go with mommyhood…and even if sometimes i feel so drained (aka static mommy), just looking at my kids makes me smile


  5. that is so true. i wish there was such a thing! and a lot of times when i feel so drained (aka static mommy), i look at my kids and i am given a reason to smile.


  6. Thanks for the comment on my study. Some of us don’t iron but take classes and blog and have twinkles in our eyes and lots of recycled leftovers!!!

    Liked your link to the twin moms and digital photos are fine… as long as the files stay current and don’t become obsolete like cassette tapes and VCR tapes. In a way I think they are possibly more ephemeral and likely to fade away like the old color photos.

    I still keep black and white prints on archival paper.

  7. This is a very nice blog. I am sure it will catch. Have you joined blog promotion sites such as MyBlogLog or AutosurfMonster as well as submit it to search engines.

    You may have more readers than you think. Site meters are not that accurate anyway. StatCounter is not bad in that you can actually see where the people are coming from, how long they stayed etc.

    I have yet to have an inappropriate comment so I would suggest taking off that ‘Bad Behaviour’ block it might be keeping genuine people from comment.

    I’ll put you on my blogroll list. I have about 10 regular return readers but usually about 1500 drop-ins per month.. Unfortunately people just don’t comment. Probably out of that 1500 drop in half might just click off.

    Why I was discouraged was I have a faithful readership but I want more and it seems to take time. One thing I have noticed is a lot of readers like memes or quickie items and if you are not into that particularly you don’t get them stopping.I have considered doing the occasional meme in order to get more readers, but I don’t want to have silly stuff on my blog either.

  8. I have this daydream that if I’m ever a mom I’ll hire a cook and cleaner to take care of laundry, food, etc. Of course I haven’t quite figured out the financial logistics of that, but it never hurts to dream…

  9. I have this daydream that if I’m ever a mom I’ll hire a cook and cleaner to take care of laundry, food, etc. Of course I haven’t quite figured out the financial logistics of that, but it never hurts to dream.

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