Just Be Sure to Invite Friends

Just a few last minute turkey cooking tips, from the 1-2nd graders. These directions are much more sophisticated than the kindergartners, a few years back, who explained that you cook a turkey at a temperature hotter than the sun.

  1. Kill it, take it home, and BE SURE TO TAKE OFF ITS FEATHERS!!!!
  2. Your turkey should be over one pound, but less than 53 pounds.
  3. The cost of the turkey is the same as the weight.
  4. Be sure to take the string off the turkey. 
  5. Oven temperature can range from 53-5000 degrees. But wait five minutes after you turn the oven on to put the turkey inside.
  6. While you are cooking, get the big tube to squirt liquids out onto the turkey.
  7. Actually, another kid wrote that the purpose of the turkey baster is to see how hot the turkey is while it’s in the oven… if it’s not hot, just stick it back in for another hour.
  8. Cooking times will vary from half an hour to ALL DAY LONG!
  9. Set the table and make stuffing.
  10. RELAX!!!!
  11. Must be placed on a fancy tray before you put it on the table.
  12. Invite friends over to eat it with you.
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