Transitions and finding new ways to love…

I had the coolest dream. I was at the lake house, and I was giving my Mom a tour of the place. She kept asking me to take her to the places that I normally bypass … like the attic. It’s a crawl space. So, at her insistence, I took her, and found that my lake house has 9 floors!!! Who would have known!!

Each floor was a different theme — one had rocks carved into the wall, another had a lodge-feel to it, another was a modern disco — and the details are getting fuzzy, but I think there was some pink princess theme too. Each room came with some kind of gadget my boys would have loved. One had kid-sized coin-operated John Deere tractors lined up, another had rocking horses, there were pinball machines, one had an Easy Bake Oven. (Can you believe it?…)

Over the last two days I’ve had to think about the dream, I think this dream is related to that dark thought I could never quite finish as I sent my boys off to school on the first day; the one where I was trying to imagine how empty the house will feel when they’ve all moved away.

  1. I think my Mom was trying to show me that even though we all move and transition into different places in life, it’s really just a change of scenery. And the change will transform our relationship into good things — things I had no idea that were there under the surface, all the time. We won’t explore those places on our own … life pushes us into these rooms. And these “rooms” can be quite amazing. And the seeds of these relationships are already here, so it’s nothing to fear, it’s just a natural progression. It’s the same thing as discovering that my lake house had all of these rooms I didn’t know existed. They had always been there, and discovering them transformed the lake house into something more. Moving into them didn’t “subtract” anything from the lake house, it merely added.
  2. I also realized this: Even death does not stop a mother from teaching her child.
  3. I can’t wait to go to the lake house this weekend and check out the attic, and use the Easy Bake Oven.

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8 comments on “Transitions and finding new ways to love…
  1. #2 made me cry again! And how true it is. Again, that quote from Tuesdays with Morrie “Death ends a life. Not a relationship.”. This has held me together often.

  2. I used to have regular dreams about opening an door in our house and finding lots of new rooms that we just hadn’t thought of using before. Then I graduated to dreams about extra appartments that we just happened to own in town but had never used either. I’ve spoken to friends about this and several have said that they have exactly the same sort of nighttme property fantasy life – iIwonder what it means?

  3. Gosh, Susie- what a wonderful dream. I know that your mom is still with you like my dad is still with me. He may be more present to me now in fact- and I to him.
    There is something to be said for dreams… they really can be a gateway into some good learning experiences.
    xo

  4. There could also be, in the dream, the idea that as you discover the spaciousness in your life (including your life after children are grown) there will be a theme of playfulness and creativity of your own to explore.

  5. I could do with a dream like that – we’re both going through a long string of horrendous dreams. But they’re positive in their own way in that they’re clearly working through some of the stress and strain about the impending (3 months) new arrival. It’s really touching what your dream shows of your relationship with your mother.

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