Never Trust A Skinny Cook

 

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Photo from ShowBizSpy

When I look at Nigella Lawson, I think, “how can I put on some extra pounds and get the fat to go in exactly the right places so that I can look as voluptuous as Nigella?” I wouldn’t hesitate to eat fried bacon sandwiches, snickerdoodles and Carmel sundaes everyday if I knew the pounds would miraculously pad my breasts to give me that elusive cleavage I’ve never managed to grow. Sadly, as my past pregnancies have indicated, my extra pounds fill in that most unattractive spot, right above my backside, and stay there, forever hiding that elusive feminine hourglass shape.

She’s adored by men and women alike (is it because she’s NOT thin that we don’t hate her), glorified the-everyday-kind-of-food that we all love to eat, and has authored brilliant books like, How to Eat. (A necessary read for all members of the human race who plan to survive.) Millions of people watch Nigella Lawson cook on the food network, just to watch her, not because they want to learn how to cook. Yet, in another move of the media’s anorexic-laden attraction, there’s a rumor from the New York Post that the Food Network Channel directors are trying to get their cameras to show less of Nigella Lawson’s voluptuous backside. They’re concerned that people don’t think fat is beautiful. Message to the Food Network Directors: Your audience recognizes passion and beauty. We’re starving for it. Perfection is impervious to the very elements you’re trying to hide.

Do I see beauty in Nigella because she’s not afraid to combine the words domestic and goddess in the same sentence? Ahhh, the freedom that combination brings. (Sure, this does involve large doses of chocolate: How to Be a Domestic Goddess.)

When I look into her eyes, I see not just joy… but pleasure. I can’t help but think of her tragedies: Her mother died in her 30s from cancer. Her sister died of breast cancer. And her husband, John Diamond, died of cancer.

Yet, she smiles. She knows what my former neighbor Margie knows. Margie, with her gray hair, always stylishly cut, used to say, “Don’t you just love normal days when nothing happens?” Those days are free of tragedy. Never a drama queen be. Nigella says it perfectly, in her own words:

“I suppose I do think that awful things can happen at any moment, so while they are not happening you may as well be pleased.”

So, eat up.

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13 comments on “Never Trust A Skinny Cook
  1. I love Nigella, her books and her gorgeousness. Through her writing she has taught me to love cooking and every single cake of hers I bake is a success. And her acceptance of her shape is inspiring in this day of matchstick celebrities.

  2. What a great way to look at the world: I am always in search of a drama-free day, but when they come along, I don’t think I enjoy them as I should. A great reminder.

  3. I love her..but I also love Rachel Ray…I know she’s corney but she has lumps and bumps too….
    Giada’s giraffe neck bugs me…I love Paula’s accent. Can you tell I watch too many cooking shows?

  4. I heart Giada too… To me, she really is the perfectly built woman. But, many people, including my husband, do not agree with me on this one… I love to watch her cook. I actually do use many of her recipes, although hers are admittedly a little more work than Nigella’s.

  5. I love the fact that she’s constantly coming back to her food – it must be really good if you’re dipping into it in the middle of the night. And her kids are great! My cookbook shelf is straight from the Food Network – Rachael Ray, Giada & Mario!

  6. I think it only just that the femme fatale of the Food Network be a little husky. You can’t trust a skinny chef. And you are right, it’s amazing how she’s convinced all that chocolate to congregate in her chest. I’m going to have a serious conversation with my next flourless chocolate torte.

  7. I’ve never watched or read Nigella, but I like what you described about body acceptance, and enjoying food. I try hard to show and teach my kids that all foods can be healthy in moderation, so we should enjoy eating and not fuss over numbers too much. Now if I could just have my kids’ energy level….

  8. I have never seen Nigella (at least, not knowingly); for a while, I confused her with Nutella, which I gather is some kind of spread. Then again, from what you say, so is she!

    As for food, not to worry: come by our house, we’ll feed you lots of stuff that isn’t good for you.

  9. I’m so glad you wrote such a lovely post about Nigella. I was just thinking the other day: “Why are some people so mean about her?” I think she looks great and it disgusts me that the media criticise her figure. Whenever I’ve been to the children’s hospital with Kiko, I’ve seen a group of young female anorexics there. Before a journalist puts pen to paper to call a woman “fat” he/she should visit anorexic girls in hospital and see what these kids are putting themselves through.

    I’ve only recently started getting into Nigella’s cookery, after being given Nigella Express for Christmas. There’s a recipe for pea soup in there I make every single week now. It’s clear that she knows what it’s like to be really busy and have to dish up quick food for hungry little people. And her recipes work!

  10. Bill:

    Funny you should confuse Nigella and Nutella – she has a recipe for a cake made with Nutella. I have a recipe that includes Nigella AND Nutella…

  11. Hey Guys,

    Must admit (with due regards to Nigella n her fmily) that i have a huge crush on the lady in mention..!! When ever i see the sight of her on tv, my testerone levels begin to sore..!! Find her exxxtremely attractive n sexy.

    God bless her n give her many more fit years of cooking… 😉

    Cheers,

    Brat.

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